my strength.

sleep eludes me, completely
while the night winds tirelessly forth.
i try to close my eyes, knowing
that it is useless to even try anymore.
shortcomings haunt me,
endlessly taunting;
how can i be confident
when i have no real strengths?
i'm not shallow, not brutal,
not a jock, not a nerd,
not a loser, not gay,
not arrogant, not proud,
not happy with the world,
but not oblivious to what goes on in it.
but...i'm not normal.
i'm me.
as much as i hate me,
i'm beginning...
to learn to live with me.
at least i have someone...
to give me some kind of strength.
and for that...i am thankful.
it helps to have someone
-her-
that actually cares.
and thats what i hold onto,
on nights like tonight,
where i cant sleep;
when the shadows beneath my bed
are nothing compared to those within my mind.
but she lights up most of that darkness...
with her love.
right here-right now-
she is my strength.